Dead right Bam, but then I was young, inexperienced and lacked local knowledge...stupid is probably a better description I suppose...
I've told this yarn elsewhere, but it might amuse the blood thirsty...
I was 17+ and an Ordinary Seaman in a Merchant ship at the time. We had sailed from Bremen in Germany, gone "Round the top," Cape Wrath, and down past the Western Isles into the Clyde. She was a brand new ship and we were going to Prince's Dock (Which is now a Garden Park or similar I believe?) for minor adjustments to her generators.
I had enough sea time in then to allow me to take my AB's (Able Seaman) exam which I was going to do in Glasgow.
It was late June and the exam was in July and I had some shore leave owing. I jumped into a taxi, crossed the river and went shopping in Sauchiehall Street (Spelling?) At a camping shop, bought a cheap nylon tent, this was 1961..a summer sleeping bag and some pots and pans and camping Gaz stove...ready for the big adventure.
I went to a place called Aberfoyle by bus, and then managed to get a lift in a lorry and was dropped off somewhere North of Aberfoyle. Great, I'm Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett or a mountain man...Hadn't got a clue!! I was a Seaman, for goodness sake and I'd only camped as a nipper on formal camp sites.
Tent up in the woods about 1 pm, lovely day, very warm, blue sky...Then came the evening..very still, no breeze and the Midges came out in squadrons. I didn't last long they drove me potty, so I cleared a space and lit a fire which was only partly successful. In the end I decided to hide in the tent...looked in the tent and found it was full of Midges!!!
No problem. Take burning stick from fire, shake the flame out and hold smoking stick in tent, that will shift the little gits... Yep, tent nicely full of thick white smoke, quick, stick out and throw on fire as I zipped the tent door shut..
That's funny...the stick looks shorter than I thought...Bloody Nora..the end of the stick has dropped off in the tent!!
One of the many problems with buying cheap 1960's nylon tents was the zips often used to get stuck....I watched while flames rose in the tent as the sleeping bag caught fire as I tugged at the tent zip.
Eventually the nylon tent (blue) and the nylon sleeping bag (red) formed a congealed melted blob on the forest floor.
I dug a hole filled it with water and sank the remains in the hole and backfilled it and then began the long trudge back to the road as the light faded.
I found a wooden bus shelter and a notice that said the next bus was at 10am the next day...Great only 13 hours to wait. I slept on the wooden bench and the Midges found their way through the spare T shirt that I wrapped around my head in a failed attempt keep them away.
I got some funny looks on the journey back to my ship, looking like I had been beaten around the head with a Cricket Bat. Clambered up the ship's gangway and the first words the Second Mate said were, " You been scrapping then?".....
In the ensuing 58 years I've learned a few lessons....