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If Bears s$$t in the woods , where do wild campers go ????

Madriverrob

Madriverrob

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My Recent trip to the lakes raised the question of toileting in the wilderness :poo: ?

I'm an ex squaddie so am not unfamiliar with oudoor toileting .

So I'm aware of Cat holes , burning toilet paper , distance from camp and water sources etc but imagine your in your tent , its night time , its throwing it down and 40 miles an hour wind outside . If you go out to poop its gonna get wet and messy :ninja::poo::crying: !!

Well this scenario happened to me recently and has prompted me to consider my preparedness ........

Luckily I remember watching and reading " Bravo two Zero " and hearing of special forces pooping in bags . That must be the reason for them being special forces as its definitely not an easy task .

Let me paint the scene ..... small tent, 11pm , big storm raging outside , big lad with bad hips and knees , one freezer bag and a compressed cloth ( from pound shop) but when you gotta go you gotta go !

Job ( literally ) done ........

Lessons learned - Have appropriate equipment to hand and practice in safe conditions before having to use the skills under real conditions in the field ..........

Here's some useful links if this is making you consider your own " field" toilet plans ..........

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cleanwaste...id=1536593062&sr=1-3-catcorr&keywords=wag+bag

War Taught Me How To Poop The Right Way

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000BS0...=1006958&hvtargid=pla-358853956963&th=1&psc=1

 
I'm normally very regular and do my ablutions at around the same time everyday . There are of course exceptions. I work out of my van travelling to different properties and have on occasion found that I needed to go . Not wanting to walk dirt or embarrassment into someone's home I've opted for the bag in the back of the van. I can say that a larger bag certainly makes the "job" easier , the smaller bin liners are good for this and I keep some plustoilet paper of course in the van. It's also easier if you can support you body I find and putting the bag in a bucket is good , sit on the bucket and it'll save any spillages should there be any.
There was one occasion where I was caught short and just went straight onto the compost heap. It's hidden amongst some trees and saved all the messing around and perfuming the back of the van.
 
@Baytree

Like your good self, I am pretty regular too.

Although I did have a problem a few months ago and needed a visit to the Doctors.

The conversation began with him asking...."What can I do for you"

I said..." I have a problem Dr.....every morning without fail at precisely 06.00hrs I have to have a.:poo:

"Well," the Dr said........."That is actually very good........ it shows that your body clock is working perfectly........why do you consider that to be a problem?"

I said "Well........the problem is.............. I don't get out of bed until 08.30 " :whistle::D
 
1 shot willie said:
@Baytree

Like your good self, I am pretty regular too.

Although I did have a problem a few months ago and needed a visit to the Doctors.

The conversation began with him asking...."What can I do for you"

I said..." I have a problem Dr.....every morning without fail at precisely 06.00hrs I have to have a.:poo:

"Well," the Dr said........."That is actually very good........ it shows that your body clock is working perfectly........why do you consider that to be a problem?"

I said "Well........the problem is.............. I don't get out of bed until 08.30 " :whistle::D
Click to expand...


:rofl::rofl:
 
The best porta potty I've ever owned...
The wide curved rim is supportive and comfortable, the close fitting lid keeps in smells and excludes flies and it's enamelled steel construction means it will bear the weight of even the fattest backside without suddenly breaking and dropping you in it... (so to speak)
 

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A thing of beauty Mike. :thumbsup:

I have found that the snug fit to cheek around the seat offers the user the opportunity to produce a multitude of tuneful reports.
Of course this is a skill........ And the correct angles of tilt/ rock/ and lean must be mastered first to become an accomplished player.

Tiz a dying art. :rofl:
 
If it came to it its the one of the first jobs that i have on my to do list upon arriving onsite in a BO situation (1 camp/tent up , (2 find water (3 dig crapper, we all get caught out at some point though.
 
Madriverrob said:
My Recent trip to the lakes raised the question of toileting in the wilderness :poo: ?

I'm an ex squaddie so am not unfamiliar with oudoor toileting .

So I'm aware of Cat holes , burning toilet paper , distance from camp and water sources etc but imagine your in your tent , its night time , its throwing it down and 40 miles an hour wind outside . If you go out to poop its gonna get wet and messy :ninja::poo::crying: !!

Well this scenario happened to me recently and has prompted me to consider my preparedness ........

Luckily I remember watching and reading " Bravo two Zero " and hearing of special forces pooping in bags . That must be the reason for them being special forces as its definitely not an easy task .

Let me paint the scene ..... small tent, 11pm , big storm raging outside , big lad with bad hips and knees , one freezer bag and a compressed cloth ( from pound shop) but when you gotta go you gotta go !

Job ( literally ) done ........

Lessons learned - Have appropriate equipment to hand and practice in safe conditions before having to use the skills under real conditions in the field ..........

Here's some useful links if this is making you consider your own " field" toilet plans ..........

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cleanwaste...id=1536593062&sr=1-3-catcorr&keywords=wag+bag

War Taught Me How To Poop The Right Way

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000BS0...=1006958&hvtargid=pla-358853956963&th=1&psc=1

Click to expand...
Biodegradable from any supermarket rob on summer camp we use them with out portaloos. Might sound gross but if I was really desperate like you were the the bag would be tucked into cooking pot and draped round the outside. At the end of the day or in this case night pots can be washed
 
Im with Joe on this one and have done the very same myself on many occasions.....the Poncho is your sanctuary if there is limited space in your tent or no poop tent.



Inside Tescos was a challenge though 🤭
 
Joecole said:
When a man or possibly a woman has to go in that situation then all dignity gets put on the back burner. many a time in Germany on a long convoy I've squatted beside the road with a poncho round me and taken a dump
Click to expand...

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. I've been caught out a few times over the years either in urban areas or out in the sticks, you find somewhere as discreet as you can.... or keech yourself. Its an easy pick for me, I've done both and know which I prefer. I like to have a packet of travel tissues in my pocket, while dabbing the tea towel holder isn't the primary reason, its a factor.
 
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